A Love Story

June 2002 - I was going to attend my first lecture on my new college. BMS was a fresh course then, and I was glad to pass the entrance exam and get a seat... As there were only 60 students in one batch and as often groups had to be formed for different presentations/projects, I soon got to know all my batchmates. I am not writing further on the batch mates.. As the title suggest, this is a love story, so I better introduce the leading cast...

Now there was this guy in our batch who had a mustache and had a typical mallu look... The first impression that I had while seeing him was "This guy must be hard to get along"... How soon we judge people... At that time, i didn't even imagine that this idiot is going to be my best friend for life...We were formal in the beginning and our conversation was limited to "kispe project kar rahe ho?", "Group mein kaun-kaun hain" and all... oops... I didn't mention his name! Anup Mukundan :)

Few of my school friends were also in my batch. It was few days after the class started, one girl entered the class... She had missed the earlier lectures due to some reason (pardon me, it was 8 years ago!) I thought I had seen her somewhere.. It was afterwards, I remembered, she was my schoolmate.. We used to call her Ladybird as she used to come in that cycle to school ;) Kalpana Vasukuttan, who later came to be popularly known as Kallu :)

My friendship with Anup became strong during the Goa picnic, oops! Industrial visit ;)... We had a lot of fun there and there was a gang which was formed between all the guys... There were 7-8 of us and we always used to sing songs enthusiastically in the Train' on the journey from college to home.

The relationship between Anup and Kallu started on certain circumstances... Anup had an initial affair with one girl which was never going to work.. Fortunately, they understood it sooner and mutually broke off.. We were all in the same gang.. So Anup and kallu started to interact more.. I still remember, it was during one lecture.. we were sitting on the 4th bench. Anup said "Akki, I am feeling something for Kallu which I never felt before... not even with Shweta..." Somehow, a deep instinct told me that these guys are meant to be with each other.. Their relationship kicked off and many of our friends did not actually like it... They didn't show it but initially, they were apprehensive.. Anyways, they were always assholes, so I didn't care.... pardon me for the language.. Bud I seriously didn't care afterwards.. neither did anu and kallu...

3 years in college passed like bliss to me and a "get to know each other" session for "Analpana"... They fought consistently and made up consistently... Anup was known for his high temper in those days... All that helped them to know one's and each other's shortcomings and helped them to adapt and compromise....There were times when their fights went out of proportion... I used to wonder will their relationship last long.... When the fights became consistent, I assured myself, that they will be going a long way ;)

After college, me and kallu got jobs... Anup did post graduation. So that was another 2 years of college for him.. Anup always used to say that those two years for him were lonely... Although he and kallu used to meet frequently, he used to feel lonely in college... During this period, Kallu also was not well and had to be hospitalized many times... Those were one of the hardest period for both of them....

Years passed by and Anu got a job as a Media planner in one company just like he wanted... Over the years, I was amazed to see the transformation in him... He appeared to be more calm... He was more patient.... and time came for their parents to be known of their relationship... Problems were many, if you look with a typical conservative mind
1) Both were approximately of the same age
2) Both were of different caste. For society, two people must be Indians, of the same state, same religion, same caste, same sub-caste .. blaa.. blaa.. blaa..
3) Both were in love ! not at all done!
4) Anup's sister was not married till then..

Even if I write 100 pages abt their struggle to get their parent's approval, still it won't be enough...Nobody can ever be patient as Kallu has been... and Nobody can ever be persisting as Anup has been... They have gone through hell over the past few years to get matters sorted.... And between this, they have enjoyed life as well..... That's what has amazed me always.... one day anup will tell me they had a big fight and he is not going to call her... After few days, I just call him to ask what happened, he informs me that they are in Matheran and will come the next day!.. There was a period when parents of both of them were against their marriage.. Kallu and her mom were coming back from native place.. At the same train anup and his dad were also there... Throughout the journey, they met quite a few times and their parents didn't even realize!! Thats' Analpana for you ;)

This sunday, while they get engaged (i.e. officially) I will be the proudest man in the hall :)

God bless you both... will always be there for you....

Change

They say that change is the only constant thing on earth.... Maybe its true..... In my case, one thing has certainly changed in the past 5 months.... My job..... To leave a company where you have worked for almost 4 years is never easy.... To make a decision for leaving such a company within 2 weeks is weird... that too when you have not updated your resume for 4years and you are not looking for any job.... But, sometimes, I guess, decisions are made that way....Now, the question is, do i regret? no... not on every 25th... Rest of the days? maybe a little.. ;) The change is visible... Good facilities..Professionalism.. Attitude... Frantic Managers.... One sec... those people are always there.... yeah.. Now I get it... Apart from change the other thing that remain constant.. Your manager ;) hehe..... All said and done, we need to adapt to changes... I have always believed that adaptation is the key to survival... (i.e. without compromising your moral values) and in this jungle, Its survival of the fittest.... The only change is., this is Corporate Jungle...

09-01-10

Hmm... I didn't think that I would be writing something very soon but here I am... The date in the title is going to have some significance in my life.. This is the day when an article is written about me and my brother. The article has been published in a relatively less sought Newspaper but the fact remains that they considered us to be worthy to be published.. Before this, my photo had been published in a Marathi Newspaper but that had been as a winner of a competition held by them..
Being introduced as rising musicians is a nice feeling :)...

But there is more to do... There is more to plan. There is more to accomplish... The most important thing as of now is to release my songs... But sometimes, I wonder if I am working hard for it.. Fear of getting stuck, right support, right publicity maybe the reasons... But I have to start at some point of time... I want to justify this article that has been published.. I want to accomplish what I have thought of... Not to prove to the world.. But to prove myself..

New Year Resolution

Ok...This was not which I intended to write as my post for December. But as I have broken the rule for the 2nd time (refer to May's post), I thought writing about the current events... I had contemplated writing about our trip to Goa. But then, sheer laziness took me over. As the month came to an end, one of my friend even suggested I write about laziness... Such is the power of this word that I was even more lazy to write about it... So what do I write? As the title suggests, I am making a new yeaar resolution.. In other words, I am rewriting the rule which I made on May. From this month onwards, I won't be writing one post per month.. I would be writing when I feel like. But yes, I would ensure that my blog remains active. At the end of 2010, There would be atleast 6 posts... I am doing this because I don't want to write just because it is a rule. I want to write when I feel like writing..

One more thing which I would be doing is I am not going to send mails whenever I write a new post.. I guess all friends of mine have this url.. I want all to come on their own.. If there is zero feedback, I don't mind either.. :) This year, I am not writing to improve my skills... I am writing because I want to...

3 People. 3 Levels. 3 Phases

Phase 1 – Initial 6 months

Employee – Last 2 weeks have been hectic.. and I don’t think I will get a breather till next week… Once the pilot is over, I can concentrate on the minor automations that are pending.. I am happy with my process.. Manager is very helpful. Colleagues are cool. A challenging atmosphere is always there. I have to ensure I work hard for the next 6 months to get promoted.. Promotion….next level of hierarchy..increase in salary… which will ensure I get a better salary in a new company.. My dreams will come true…

Manager – I am impressed with this guy. Full of commitment.. His pro-activeness has helped my team get yet another appreciation from the client. The only thing which I need to improve on him is his interaction with other process guys and departments… If that is done, then I am sure, nothing is stopping him from promotion.. But, he has to be free from the daily work…

CEO – So many processes are coming to us… how am I going to manage these… and I suppose another 450 HC project is on its way… This will have to be deployed in the new facility… Governance should have to be set in place to ensure regular audit checks… I will have to set up a workflow which tracks the errors committed by my guys… and will have to speak with the HR head to increase the budget for appraisal…

Phase II - Panel

Employee – This is it… the moment that I was waiting for.. I can’t leave any stone unturned..hmm.. I know the bench calculation.. SLA… different departments in the company… turnover…is anything left?? I heard that this time CEO himself will take interviews and select the guys…. I have not interacted with him yet… for that matter not with any senior manager who is not from my vertical.. There was so much to do in my department… What could I do? I guess, my manager will take care of it…

Manager – I have taken a mock interview of this guy… he handled well… was confident from the start and gave answers to all process related questions..I am just worried what would CEO asks… I have given him all the training and guidance that I could give.. Now it’s in his hands..

CEO – 18 nominations!! And I have got 4 seats…The guys whom I have interviewed are good.. and their managers want everyone to get promoted… which is not possible… I will have to pick the guys myself.. based on my previous interactions… There is no other way.

Phase III – Appraisal

Employee – I am not interactive… That’s the reason I am not selected… Can you believe it? For 6 months, I work round the clock, ensure that deliverables are sent on time, make no errors, and my manager is saying that I have to be interactive!!! He said that this was the feedback given by the CEO.. How could he just listen to such crap? Why didn’t he argue? What am I supposed to do now? Slog and wait for yet another 6 months?

Manager – Yet again, I had to get my hands dirty and do this shitty thing.. I couldn’t even justify the reason given by my boss to my employee.. He asked me so many things and I just shrugged in a helpless manner.. Why can’t the CEO take the appraisal when he has done the interviews? Why can’t he justify his actions? Why should I take this shit?

CEO – The deployment in the new facility is not going to be easy… I have to straighten the Bench ratio too.. I will have to solve the fiasco happened in the other department… I have to meet the profit margin by the end of the semester… wait a minute… It’s the employee who didn’t make it… he seems to be crying… hmm… I may see some papers down by the end of the month… anyways, there’s no guarantee that anyone would stay if I promote them…They will look for a better future and if they get one, they will surely leave… I will have to give my projected hires to HR….

Festival of Lights

This year's diwali also over..But I must admit that every year, the excitement of this festival is reducing..atleast for me.. I don't know if it happens with everyone... As every year has passed by, each festival has become less prominent to me.. Maybe it has got to do with growing up... But does it make sense? Does having less celebration means that you are being serious towards life? or being more serious towards life means having less celebration? Both doesn't make sense.I start pondering which festival did I really celebrate? When I was really happy?... Then it strikes me that I have always been in a festive mood when all my friends have been here.. My best friend has came back from cruise for a three month leave.. The weekends that we spend together, making schedules for the activities that we are going to do in the coming weekends.. this is celebration for me...Then I start thinking, what about my family? My mom and dad would also be wishing that their children spend the weekends with them talking just about anything... Yes.. They always do.. It's just that they don't express it... and I am glad that I made them happy this diwali... Maybe festival is all about our family and friends.. about the people who care about us..about them who love us.

Love..

Have you waited in the bus-stop for endless hours to meet her when, on the contrary, you used to consider standing idle on any place for even 15 minutes as an idiotic activity? Have you practiced Salsa vigorously just to dance with her, when actually, some months before, you would make fun of your friends who would attend those classes? Have you seen a romantic movie just because she told you that’s her favorite movie, when months before, you used to find it disgusting? Well… these are signs of love…. We do things which we never thought of doing.. The things which used to irate us now have become a part of our life… Mills & Boons is no more a trash novel… Romantic songs have suddenly become music to ears… :)..

The feeling is nice…. But the problem is how long it will sustain… The initial 6-12 months are moments of bliss…. Trying to know each other, understanding each other’s dislikes… Then we get habituated… then we don’t understand some things…then we discuss.. then we disagree.. then we get irritated… then we argue… then we quarrel… then we fight…. If the love is strong, we pass through the tide, else one more in addition to the list of failed relationships…. No, Please don’t think that I am here to lecture upon how to improve your love life.. not at all… I have always been a third party in these things… I have never been involved in any affair…But yes… I have been a witness to many complexities of a relationship which qualifies me to post this article on my blog…

I have always pondered as what would be it like to love someone without any reason….hmm.. yes.. there would be a reason… that would be to see her smile, wish for her happiness, pray for her well being…and if the feeling is mutual, then nothing is so wonderful…. Not being able to talk to each other for the whole day but still making it a point to wish each other good night (and not complaining as to why didn’t you get time to call)… Going on a long walk on a beach holding hands, but not a single word being spoken… yet feeling so content…. Coming to terms with each other’s weaknesses, accepting of what the other is… Isn’t that love..Don’t know…I am yet to explore…